It feels like it's been a little while, but Summerslam has come and gone. It was a four hour event....FOUR HOURS. And it had it's moments, but with such a cluster fuck of a finish, it left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. Well, let's see how we got there shall we?

As always, we're answering the three most important questions in the world of wrestling.

1. What happened?
2. What should have happened?
3. Why should you care?

The Setup: This is the Wrestlemania of the summer.  Or well, it's supposed to be. Billed as a bit multimedia event, it doesn't quite live up to that billing.

Beer of Choice: Yards Pynk. A bit of a lighter sour beer. Pretty good stuff.

 def. 

1. Sheamus tried to fall into an RKO, but managed to win by kicking orton in the face.
2. This match shouldn't have happened.
3. Because Sheamus has the Money in the Bank. Oh God.

 def. , , and 

1. Kofi Kingston pinned one of the luchadors and was somehow the legal man.
2. As with all matches of this type, the last few minutes were and indecipherable mess. The New Day and PTP are the only ones worth paying attention to, and I expect them to hand the titles back and forth. I will never understand why this was a four way match.
3. Because half of the teams on display are worth your time. Big E is hilarious.

 def.  and 

1. Both were counted out.
2. I guess Ziggler should have won? I would have at least liked to see someone come out with a victory, seems odd to start the feud with a count out.
3. Ziggler is still entertaining to watch and Rusev is nuts. Could be a fun rivalry.

 and  def.  and 

1. The Green Arrow jumped and then Neville hit the Red Arrow. It was actually pretty awesome.
2. That pretty much had to be the way it went. You don't go out of your way to get a TV personality only to have them lose.
3. I like Arrow, so seeing Amell actually hold his own wrestling-wise was pretty cool. Neville is great, and he was aptly described as "He has a weird face but jumps real good" by my girlfriend during the preamble to the match. Hopefully this means Stardust can continue being Mr. Sinister and do more crazy shit.

(c) def. and  Intercontinental Championship

1. Ryback pinned The Miz after he got Knockout Punched.
2. Come on, Big Show or The Miz as champion? This was the only way it could go.
3. Because maybe now they'll actually try and do that whole "elevate the title" thing they thought they were trying to do.

 and  def  and 

1. I'm going to be honest, I don't remember how this finished exactly, but there was some cool stuff in here.
2. Pretty much that, but Wyatt continues to add to his loss column at PPVs. I'm not really sure what they're planning to do from here, but man, Wyatt family needs to step up.
3. Having 2/3 of the Shield back is always cool and they're fun guys to watch. I figure another tag match or two and maybe they can get in the hunt for the IC title or something.

 def  Title for Title WWE vs US

1. Jon Stewart (what?) hit John Cena with a chair and Rollins pedigreed him on it.
2. That was...not what I was expecting. I thought it was pretty funny, but what in the hell...? Rollins had to win, but holy hell, is he ever going to win a big match clean?
3. Rollins gets to continue his run as heel champ and maybe we get more Jon Stewart?

Speaking of Jon Stewart, if you'll allow me an aside, he was barely there for being a host. Though his bit with Paul Heyman was
pretty great. He rightly pointed out that people remember the Streak, not who broke it. It's a good point that took a guest to
arrive at. Still, cool to see him.

Now back to the wrestlin'.

Team PCB def Team Bella and Team B.A.D. Elimination Match

1. Becky Lynch(that's right, Lynch's rule the world!) pinned Brie Bella. But only after Brie Bella pinned Tamina eliminating Team B.A.D.
2. Basically that, PCB are the good guys here, so makes sense.
3. I don't know how to answer that. These are decent matches, but Nikki is still the Diva's champion. When is anyone going to challenge her for the title? Why would they be in these giant 3 woman teams if they really just want the championship. These are talented wrestlers, just let them go and have an actual division instead of forcing all of them in the ring at the same time all the time. It's silly.

 def 

1. Owens did enough crazy flip slams and pinned Cesaro after a Pump up Powerbomb.
2. This is a tough one, two great wrestlers, but I guess given Owens' newness means he needed the win more. But could have gone either way.
3. Because these guys will put on two more awesome matches (hopefully).

 def 

1. Undertaker knocked out Lesnar by use of a Hells Gate only after some stupid horseshit with the ring bell.
2. Anything else. Give me Undertaker throwing a lighting urn at Brock or Lesnar killing Undertaker. Something, anything but something as mundane as the time keeper ringing the bell early. UGH.
3. Fuck that, that's why.

The Verdict: Ok, so I got a little angry at the end of the night, as you can see. For being one of their tentpole PPVs, I thought this was not great. We are on a downward trend people. Uh-oh.

Rating: Boo-urns (would have been better with an actual Undertaker urn)