Ok everyone, we're 2 PPVs into their 3 show rush. I'm not even sure this one was on PPV, it might just have been a Network special? I was never clear on that. Anyway, let's take a look at what happened.
As always, we're out to answer three very important questions:
- What Happened?
- What Should Have Happened?
- Why Should You Care?
The Setup: There's this big Hell in a Cell type thing that comes down over the ring except it has these little chambers in it surrounded by plexiglass where 4 of the competitors wait to be released and as a person is pinned, they are eliminated until one is left standing. Kinda feels like WMAC Masters. It's a decent idea, but boy can it be a total mess.
Beer of Choice: Dogfishhead 90 Minute IPA and Yuengling (I got a growler at the Dogfish Head brewery(highly recommended), but that was running low)
Elimination Chamber Match (Tag Team Championship)
(c) def. , , , ,
- One of the dragons fell down off the top of the cage and all three of the New Day piled on Titus Oniel to pin him and win.
- I just want Cesaro to have a title. This should have been a three way match between the New Day, Prime Time Players, and Cesaro & Kidd. The other three were basically a waste of time and space.
- Titus O'Niel and Darren Young of the Prime Time Players surprised me. Those teams could make some fun matches in the future.
Break 1:
- I keep hearing the theme song. Is that from the Offspring? Do they still exist?
- Rusev is seriously injured!? Shit. Oh, they're keeping Lana around to flirt with Dolph Ziggler...ok.
Triple Threat Match (Diva's Championship)
(c) def. and
- Paige looked pretty rusty and Nikki missed a big spot. Naomi was on her game. Then Nikki won.
- Naomi should be champion now. She's been performing the best in the ring for some time and deserves it.
- Nikki's time should be coming to a close soon and Naomi could be fun.
Break 2:
- Oh Shit, they just said the theme is from the Offspring! I'm...amazing?
- Kevin Owens sounds cool, but what happened to Sami Zayne? Oh, Google says he's injured. Poops.
Singles Match
def
- Kevin Owens did so much awesome stuff that I can't fit it here and then he won HOLY CRAP WOW!
- THAT!
- This was my introduction to Kevin Owens and he's apparently the NXT champion. Getting a clean win over Cena is huge, but doing it with such a great match really solidifies him. Rematch at Money in the Bank can't come soon enough!
Break 3:
- I'm beginning to construct a drinking game. When Michael Cole says anything about "Creating Separation", drink.
Singles Match
def
- Neville hit the Red Arrow and pinned Bo. Also, I zoned out and looked at my phone for most of this match. I generally get one a night and sadly, this was it.
- Pretty much that, though Neville should get some better competition than Bo Dallas.
- I'm not sure on this one. Pretty much a throwaway match.
Break 4:
- Oh, Roman Reigns just doesn't count anymore? Eh, team him back up with Dean Ambrose isn't the worst idea.
- Drinking Game Update: Anytime JBL talks about sports drink. If he references a specific person and event of a European focused sport (i.e. Soccer) Waterfall
Elimination Chamber Match (Intercontinental Championship)
def , , ,
- Ok, I lied, I my zone out extended into this match too. There were some decent bits, but Ryback Rybacked the crap out of Sheamus and won.
- I'm still with Dolph on this, but Ryback is cool enough. Good for him.
- This marks the end of Daniel Bryan sitting around on the sidelines. We may never see him again. That would suck. Curious that they go from him to Ryback as an elevation of the title. Not sure he's the one for it, but we'll see.
Singles Match (WWE Championship)
def (c)
- J&J Security and Kane hung around and did their stupid shtick yet again, but Ambrose "won" the match after Rollins threw a ref in the way. Rollins is still techinically champion since he lost by DQ, but Ambrose took the belt and ran anyway.
- I'll roll with that.
- After some time toiling around in random feuds, Ambrose just got thrust into the spotlight. I love storylines that revolve around "I took the belt" and he's the perfect person for it. Talking with "That Old Comic Smell" during the match, we both think this'll head to a no-DQ match. Should be cool.
Final Score: Pretty underwhelming, though a few standout matches saved this from being a complete loss.