Three Pronged Attack
Friday | May 22nd, 2015
James Bond is back! In an original tale filled with intrigue and exploding spider robots!
We're back with some more wrestling! Payback is the beginning of some rapid fire PPVs, with Elimination Chamber in just two weeks on May 31st and then Money in the Bank two weeks after that on June 14. I don't know why in the world it's so many so fast, but we'll work through it together! I've also included some high quality pen portraits so you know who I'm talking about.
As usual, we answer the three questions that plague your mind, along with a special edition fourth question:
- What Happened?
- What Should Have Happened?
- Why Should You Care?
- Did they get Payback?
The Setup: Payback is basically the driving force behind every wrestling storyline. Someone does something to someone else, and they want to get them back for doing that thing. So really this is the perfect name and theme for a wreslting PPV. Was the show perfect? Let's find out!
Beer of Choice: Dominion's Morning Glory
Shaemus def. Ziggler [Beer #1 Down]
- This was a better match than last month's. Shaemus dominated pretty thoroughly and Ziggler managed to cut himself and bled EVERYWHERE.
- That pretty much. Gives us a 1-1 record for a final match next time.
- They put on a fun match together.
- Yes. Ziggler paid back his arse kissing and Shaemus paid back his loss.
New Day(c) def. Cesaro + Kidd w/ Natalya (2 out of 3 Falls)
- New Day has gone full Heel and does a little switcheroo to retain the titles.
- I would have rather seen Cesaro and Kidd win, but this is acceptable.
- New Day is buying into their heel status and Cesaro and Kidd work great together.
Bray Wyatt def. Ryback
- They hit each other a bunch and Wyatt managed to hit Ryback more.
- That x 1000! Wyatt had lost so many PPV matches, it's about time he came out on top.
- Hard to answer that one. Wyatt is cool and all, but his fear gimmick is kinda losing steam.
- I have no idea.
John Cena(c) def. Rusev w/ Lana (I Quit) [Beer 2 Taps Out]
- If you thought the last match had a lot of hitting, this one had a crap ton more. Cena hit Rusev with many computer parts and Rusev supposedly quit in Bulgarian which caused Lana to run in and quit for him.
- Cena always wins the last match, so of course, but man, Rusev should have won that. He's beaten everyone but John Cena.
- I've come around on Rusev and the split with Lana is imminent. Could be interesting.
Tamina + Naomi def. Nikki + Brie Bella
- Really fast match that was mostly dominated by Tamina and Naomi.
- Nikki should be defending the title, but given the match we got, pretty much that.
- Hopefully this means we'll start to see more divas get involved, but if we're just going to watch these four forever, maybe you shouldn't.
Neville def. King Barret
- Barret let himself be counted out. Then they fought more and Neville won the moral victory.
- They should have finished the damn match.
- Neville is super fun to watch and Barret is good himself.
- Kinda? In a very microcosmic way.
Rollins(c) def. Dean Ambrose,
Roman Reigns, Randy Orton (Fatal Four Way) [Beer 3 Eliminated]
- Rollins use the Pedigree to take out Orton who had taken a nap for most of the match after the Sheild powerbombed him. Also, Kane hates shirts.
- Rollins should have won, but again I have issues with the way he did it. Weird finish.
- Ambrose is getting into the title hunt now? Maybe?
Final Score: Not very exciting. Dominion is a great brewery. Beer 4 followed me into an episode of The Monday Night Wars.
You're telling me I don't have to pay hundreds of dollars for this game anymore? Savin' that sweet sweet Zenny!
Welcome to yet another new feature: Random Reviews! Basically, I don't stay up to date well enough to always have timely reviews, so instead of trying to keep up with that, I'll be checking in with some of the stuff I'm reading and watching, and see how it's all going down. And we start with the secondary TMNT series from IDW, New Animated Adventures. With news coming out that the series was coming to a close, I figured we'd jump in and check out how it's going. The answer shouldn't surprise you, but it's not great.
I'm an easy mark for Ninja Turtles. I'll give a fair shake to just about anything that looks half decent with their name on it. When the new cartoon started and a comic series based on it, I figured this was a win-win. Sadly, the writing in this book is nowhere near the quality of the show. And because it has to play second fiddle, they can't even feature active storylines. Karai was still human and on Shredder's side as of a few issues ago. It seems they have their hands tied and that's led to a sub par book.
This issue does not do much to shake that reputation. It's a second part of a battle with Spider Bytez and Baxter Stockman, who at least is a fly. There are a few clever one liners, but the overall story is pretty silly and there's too many off panel traps for a 10 pager. It feels like the writers paint themselves in a corner, then point the camera slightly to the left to get out of it.
There's also a backup story that actually works really well. Here we see the four turtles training by playing Tag. Once a turtle is tagged, we get a first person view as they jump along rooftops to try and find their brothers. It's a fast and fun story that works and doesn't feel hamstrung like the main story was.
The art is solid in both stories. I was able to follow the action for the most part, but the backgrounds can be boring. It does the job, but nowhere near as fun to look at or as dynamic as the main series.
I'm not sad to see this book come to an end. I'm way more excited about what they can bring with a new relaunch and given the freedom to setup their own offshoot continuity. The only way a single continuity would have worked is if both writing teams worked together and could bring it all in, but maybe that's just not possible being a part of the Viacom Corporate MachineTM. I hope what comes next is more entertaining, but I have a hard time believing it will be more bland than this.
2 out of 5 Pizza Time
Avengers: Age of Ultron is not the revelation that Avengers was. We already knew that an ensemble cast from different movies would work. What this showed is what we get when we don't have to worry about setting it all up, and it's a fast, fun, and exciting adventure.
It's a lot of fun seeing these characters after they've clearly been on many missions together. They're basically a group of friends, just instead of getting together to talk about fantasy football, they're all crazy superheroes. It's been in some of the trailers, but the scene with Thor's hammer really nails home that point (I'm sorry, it just happened, but I'm leaving it in there). So when we start to see the seams in that group, it's pretty powerful.
The big bad is telegraphed a bit from the title, but Ultron shows up and is appropriately terrifying. I was genuinely disturbed by his first appearance, and as he grows in both mental and physical ways, he becomes significantly more scary. Now it should be noted that while this has elements of the "Age of Ultron" event from years ago, we don't see any alternate timelines. And having just recently seen Days of Future Past, I think they were better off.
The character development and interaction is great, as would be expected from a Whedon joint. We learn a lot more about some of the characters that don't have their own movies, and the new characters come relatively fleshed out. The most prominent of those characters being Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch. I actually don't recall if those names are used explicitly, but they're more than just two more super powered people to add to the bunch.
The Marvel Cinematic Unverse, for all it's blessings, also brings a curse. This movie felt like a bit of a stepping stone. You could see the seeds beeing sewn for both Captain America: Civil War, as well as the Infinity Gems movies. And as the flip side to that coin, this movie really expects you to have seen all ten prequel movies. While we don't waste time retreading topics we already know about, but a newcomer would be pretty confused at times. It's a great thing when it comes together, but maybe we're getting in a bit too deep here.
That being said, I had a great time through the whole thing. And there was a kid two seats away that was constantly losing his shit. It was a great thing to see. Even during the final battle sequence I had to take a step back in my mind and could not believe I get to live in a world where, not only did we get to see an Avengers movie, but we got to see two. And they're both so fun people that would never have picked up a comic book get to be introduced to this world. It's a fun time to be a comic fan.
4 out of 5 Creepy Robot AIs